I am tired. Just tired.
Valentine's Day rolls around and I hear, watch and see the most hateful comments circulating around social media and the radio, which is incredibly ironic considering the very reason we have St.Valentine's day is because ....
"According to legend, the Roman physician and priest was beaten, stoned, and beheaded for the crimes of marrying Christian couples ... and possibly attempting to convert Emperor Claudius II. Thanks to the marital angle of his story, Valentine became the patron saint of love, young people, and marriages (and also of plague, epilepsy, and beekeepers)." ~ Business Insider
For some reason, I may be melodramatic but some men take it to an unnecessary level. They take theirs and their peers' negative experiences and dump it on the next women in their life.
The last person I was dating became a totally different person the week before Valentines Day. He stopped talking to me,and spent all his time avoiding me as though I'd pursued him. The special day happened to fall on a Friday and my friends had a habit of always meeting on Friday, so I left him where he was and went to spend Valentine's day with the people who loved me. Around 5.00pm he called me to ask where I was and one of my friends told me 'invite him'. He arrived to join our group looking extremely sheepish. I decided to let it be because I wanted to enjoy my day. When I returned home, I found single beautiful rose waiting for me from my Father. The contrasting treatment was so evident . I realized I had to listen to my friends' advice, "this guy is not for you'.
During our very short courtship, we actually causally discussed Valentine's day, in fact what I specifically remember him saying a week before the day was,
"Why should I be romantic on Valentine's day when I can be romantic on any day?"And the first thoughts that came to my mind were...
- When was the last time you were romantic?
- You've been grumpy for the last four weeks.
- Isn't it a day for both parties in the relationship to provide romantic gestures for each other?
- Who made it a rule that men are the only givers in relationships?
His harsh attitude and comments made me lose my zest for Valentine's day. I subtly told him how I felt about the day but I didn't stress or ask for what I wanted.I even forgot that it was about celebrating the people you love, not just your romantic partner. A month after that our relationship deteriorated (not just because of Valentine's day though).
As I wrote at the beginning, I am tired of hearing some men drone on and on about how much they hate Valentine's day. So when the day dawns I turn the radio off on the way to work to avoid listening to negative messages. There are even men I don't speak to that much, who send me random DM's about how they hate the day. Why? Do I look like I will agree?
Next year I will full on rebel by sending small tokens of appreciation to the people I care about. Maybe I'll send some grumpy men a fridge magnet with the words 'Nothing weak about love' on it. You know what? I will make myself a t-shirt and wear it.
For the men who continue to box all women into the category of 'gold diggers' on Valentine's day , Please grow up, get over it !And don't waste my time or anybody else's with your sorry examples of how much men give and give and give. A good woman will always appreciate a good man no matter their social status.
There is nothing wrong with taking time to show the people you love that you love them. Nothing weak about that. Appreciation does not always equal flowers, chocolates, dinner etc.... In fact why don't you be man enough to sit down with your romantic other and discuss what Valentine'a day can mean for the both of you instead of yelling all over social media or any other other platform. Oh and please get out of my DMs too!
P.S: I am taking Valentine's Day back for myself and focusing on all the people I love and who love me.